i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
