Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
false alarm, still single
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
