We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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