i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No subtext here. People are naked.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
