Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
