I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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