I will die if light touches me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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