Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sobbing to NWA
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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