then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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