is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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