I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize