i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
