I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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