I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
