# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
