I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
