so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
