Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize