I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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