dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
