never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
