I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
