the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
