just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
