If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
