i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
