Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
