Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
