how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
