so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just pee around me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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