you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
