Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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