So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
