Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize