it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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