dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
