ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
