Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
