did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
