..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize