I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
