so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
