i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
