put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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