Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
