i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
