someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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