man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
