Where did you get a picture of my penis
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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