I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
