whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
