i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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