You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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