my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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