And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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