as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
