Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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