Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
