not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
