This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
