What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
