After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
