that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
