Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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