So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
