i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
