I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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